DivorceHealth

Rushing Into A Relationship After A Breakup

Finding someone new can feel like a quick-fix for feelings of loneliness or inadequacy. You just need to keep tabs on your feelings, and how you're relating to other people.

According to relationship experts, if you’re excited about meeting new people and ready to take what you learned in your past relationship to a new one, you’re ready.

If you’re still constantly thinking about your ex or dating just to make them jealous, you probably aren’t ready.
Deciding when to start dating after a breakup is always hard.

A big reason for this may be because there is no real “right” way to go about it but you can work on it. Dating and recovering from the past breakups are highly subjective, personal experiences, so there is no one formula or rule to use to determine when, exactly, it is appropriate to dip into one’s metaphorical toe back into the proverbial dating pool.

Many people need time to grieve after a relationship, but it can be really difficult to tell when that grieving period is over and when the next stage begins.

As you already know that no two people’s timelines are the same, and meeting someone new can happen at any time. Unfortunately, this means finding out how to tell if you’re rebounding can feel next-to-impossible and hard but checking in with yourself about your healing process isn’t as hard as it may seem.

Finding someone new can feel like a quick-fix for feelings of loneliness or inadequacy.
You just need to keep tabs on your feelings, and how you’re relating to other people. In order to position yourself toward the healthy ‘starting anew’ path versus the ‘rebounding’ path, wait until you’re feeling strong and grounded in yourself before jumping into anything, If it’s taking a while to feel this way, look into some help in this arena. Consider talking to a good friend, family member or counselor.

Here are few ways to tell if you’re rushing into a relationship too soon after a breakup, according to experts.

You’re Still Keeping An Eye on our Ex

we moved too fast and broke up

Be careful if you are stilling hoping your ex will notice you or change their mind and come back to the relationship.

If part of the intention in this new relationship is about anything to do with your ex you are rushing into a new relationship.

You deserve a relationship that’s about you, and the bond you share with someone, not a ghost from your past, I hope you are getting me!

Give yourself plenty of time to grieve for your breakup, and you’ll be ready to date again, for the right reasons, soon.

Forgive to heal

There is no simple and single answer to the question, “how long after break up to get back together?” but before wanting to get into a new relationship, you need to be willing to forgive.
Once the issues have been highlighted, both the partners should take positive steps to forgive each other’s mistakes.

If you continue holding on to your past mistakes, you would never be able to rebuild your relationship. If you want to take your relationship to new heights, forgive each other, let go and move on. Think About That!

Look ahead

Anything in life should make you look ahead, not behind. If you have found someone who you find interesting enough to consider dating, you should give yourself a chance simply because you deserve it. Think of having fun, of letting bygones be bygones.

Cannot Stand Being Single

can't stand being single

It can be very scary, but by learning to be single again after a breakup can also be liberating.

If you aren’t giving yourself any time to experience this by being single then, you might need to check in with yourself about why you’re moving on so fast. But If you absolutely hate the idea of being single, and have a history of avoiding being single even if it means pairing up with people who aren’t good for you, I would always suggest many of your relationships might be rushed, including the one you’re thinking about getting into.

You feel like this applies to you, remember that there’s nothing wrong with being single.

Remember The Last Time You Were With Your Best Friends

Trying to find an easy way about whether this relationship is right for you? Ask your friends and close ones.
One of the most common signs that your relationship is moving too fast is often the loss of friends and the people you spend a lot of tie before relationship.

This loss of your good friends can come from the fact that you are spending all your time with your new relationship, or because your friends have expressed concerns about the speed of the relationship and you’ve cut them out from your life.

But by this Either way if you are losing friendships that previously were precious it is a sign that you may be moving too fast then expected.

One of the very good things about the time right after a breakup is the new opportunities to spend more time with your friends.

Keep the comparisons at bay

We know this is easier said than done, but you have to try hard. Every person is different so the way your ex handled things is naturally going to be different from the way your current interest handles them. Try not to compare the two, it is only a recipe for disaster, especially if you are out of a long relationship and are set in your head with your ex’s ways.

You Know, that You’re Not Ready

we moved too fast now it's over

It’s possible that you’ve thought about all of this before. Whether you call yourself a” monogamist,” make jokes about how quickly you moved on, or just think about it sometimes when you’re with your new partner, your innermost feelings are likely already peeking out.

It can be hard to be alone, and even harder if you’ve gotten used to having someone in your life. But going through some time being single after a breakup is an important part of the healing process, where you can learn just how strong you are on your own.

Give the new person some time

You don’t have to decide immediately whether or not the new person makes the cut. The breakup is still fresh in your mind, despite the time that has passed, so it might color your opinion of the new person. Give him some time, don’t refuse his invitations to meet, and go out with him with the intention of having a good time. After a few dates, you will settle in with the idea, and then you can take an unbiased call on how you want this new relationship to progress.

Stop considering getting back with your ex

Very often, owing to the strong feelings you have had for a person, you tend to repeatedly think of going back to that person. Reason with yourself, be practical and remind yourself of the issues which caused you both to break up in the first place. Those issues went unresolved and chances are that they are never going to be resolved. It’s best that you stop thinking of getting back with your ex as a possibility. It goes without saying that if you need to cut off from him, then do so, including blocking him on social media.

Reflect on the new person’s positives

time to reflect

That’s what’s going to keep you both going! There is a reason why you found him interesting, he being reciprocal as well. He must have some great qualities that you need to see and let these qualities shine, so you know you are on the right track. Focus on the little things that matter and how he takes care of them, or what he does for you. Enjoy all the attention while you have it! (source)(source)

Going Through These Motions With Anyone

If you’re dating just to date, and not for the person themselves, that’s generally not a good sign for the future of your relationship.

That means that it might be a red flag that your first post-breakup date has turned into a thing pretty quickly. It’s not a good sign if you are dating the first attractive person who showed interest in you. Think about that!

If you want to get into a very quality relationship, you have to accurately evaluate the person’s personality and values. If you find yourself pretty much dating the first person who showed interest after your breakup, I would almost guarantee you are rushing.

Looking For Someone To Help You Rediscover Yourself

In the wake of a breakup, you have an amazing opportunity to redefine yourself. You should go through that journey yourself, not at the whim of someone else. Be careful if you are looking for someone to define you Before you get into a relationship you need to know you

You must recover your sense of self.often individuals leaving a long-term relationship find that they no longer know themselves apart from their identity outside of their relationships.

An individual should spend an adequate amount of time they need to learn who they are outside of their last relationship so that they can be clear on who they are before they enter a new relationship. Make some friends, try new hobbies, and get mindful. Then you’ll be a bit more prepared for whatever life and love throw at you.

You Don’t Feel Like You’re In Control Of The Relationship

you don feel like you re in control of the relationship

This may sound weird — but it makes sense if you think about it. You can also tell if your relationship is right for you is if you feel in control of the whole situation, including its ability to end.

One guideline in knowing when the right time for you to get into a very serious relationship is your confidence in your ability to end a relationship

If you find yourself struggling with the idea of this, it might be a sign you’re clinging onto the idea of being in a relationship. It’s important to know that if this new relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll be more than fine on your own. (source)

Conclusion:

Even if you found that the person is perfect for you, by rushing the relationship, you can totally screw up the order in which things need to happen, thereby causing trust issues, awkward moments that lead your partner to question your motives, or just make them feel uncomfortable with the relationship as a whole.

If you’re very much serious about the relationship, you have to take that leap of faith and let it develop at its own speed. You can’t keep someone at your side by grasping onto them. Only by letting them to fly and showing them you respect their space and their feelings can you build a real, healthy long-term relationship.

For more related articles click below:

Do’s And Don’t after Having A Breakup

Things That Highly Sensitive People Should Know When They Are In Relationship

17 Things Couples Argue About The Most

12 Ways How Non Attachment Strengthens Relationships

29 Ways To Make Relationship Work | Scientifically Proven

Self life hacks

Doctor by profession and blogger by passion

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