No matter how madly in love you may be, maintaining a marriage is never easy. And while you may know that trust and compassion are crucial to keeping the flame alive.
These few science surprising findings about what makes a marriage last and these will sure make you surprised and make you think.
Here are unexpected factors that may make for a happy, lasting marriage:
1. Share Drinking Habits
We’re not necessarily saying drink less or don’t drink, or it is not to develop drinking habit but actually we’re telling you to share the same drinking habits as your partner.
University of Buffalo in New York conducted a study and found that divorce rates was nearly at 50% for couples who did not share the same drinking habits.
But Couples who have the similar drinking habits or don’t drink at all are more likely to be happier, according to the study.
2. Say Thank You
Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and admired but being in a long-term relationship we tend to start taking each other for granted.
A study published in the journal Personal Relationships found that gratitude is key to a healthy and successful marriage.
In fact, researchers found that the simple act of saying “thank you” to your partner regularly can be powerful enough to protect a couple’s divorce proneness.
3. Meeting Online.
According to a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, couples who meet online have a lower divorce rate and report higher levels of marital satisfaction. That’s sounds surprising right!
4. Watching Movies Together.
According to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, couples who regularly watch movies together stay together.
When researchers asked couples to watch films and talk for 30 minutes about the characters’ romantic relationships, they saw divorce rates shrink by half.
That’s because conversations about movie characters’ relationships act as safer environments for couples to think and talk critically about their own relationships.
5. Cultivate Positive Thoughts About Your Partner
Bianca Acevedo, Ph.D. and author of a 2009 study conducted by researchers at the University of California in Santa Barbara, noted that couples in good relationships engage in “positive sentiment override.”
That means they remember more of the favorable than the unfavorable experiences they’ve shared together, and also give each other the benefit of the doubt.
These couples seem to be able to resolve conflicts better because they don’t dwell on things that bother them. Ruminating about these things can only lead you to magnify the small foibles which will make your partner even more irritating to you.
6. Word “We” During Arguments.
“I” love “you” is great, but “we” love “us” is better.
According to a study from the University of California, Berkeley, couples who use the word “we” and “us” during conflicts were better able to resolve arguments and suffered less stress from those arguments, compared to couples who used words like “I,” “me,” and “you.”
7. Share the Chores
According to a Pew Research poll, sharing household chores ranks among one of the best ways to maintain healthy relationships
8. Do Things That You Both Enjoy.
The findings published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicate that sharing activities one partner strongly dislikes actually decreases marital happiness.
When both the couples engage in activities that both partners enjoy, both their short and long term marital happiness increased. The researchers concluded that it’s less important that the two of you share the same activities than that you both are participating in hobbies that you actually enjoy, whether it’s together or separately. (source)
9. Saying No to Sex :
Well, here’s something sounds crazy.
Researchers from Dartmouth College and the University of Warwick in England estimated that increasing sexual activity from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting paid an extra $50,000 per year.
10. Sleep in the Nude
According to a survey of 1,000 British people by Cotton USA, couples who go to bed naked are happier than those who sleep in pajamas or nighties. 57 per cent of couples who slept naked expressed a general happiness with their life in general.
11. Put Your Mobile Down:
One study from Brigham Young University found that couples who apologize or try to work out their differences via text message tended to report higher levels of unhappiness.
While SMS are good for a nice pick me up message or spontaneous compliment, they are a terrible means of communication.
Many potential arguments can be diffused with body language. Avoid catastrophe and misunderstanding one another by reserving all your fights for face to face interactions.
The aftermath can also lead to resentment if you apologies by text rather than in person.
The fix? Talk through the hard stuff face-to-face, instead.
12. Having a Cheaper Wedding.
Many would-be tempted o have a fairy-tale wedding, but according to research that was done from Emory University, couples who have thriftier celebrations are more likely to stay together.
it was also shown in the research that those with a wedding bill higher than $20,000 divorced have 3.5 times the rate of those with a $5,000-$10,000 wedding bill.
Every list of relationship tips is essentially a record on repeat telling couples to better communicate with one another.
One study has quantified it and found that happy couples spend more than 5 hours per week in each other’s company and talking about their lives.
14. Be Your Partner’s Champion
A fascinating study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the way couples react to each other’s good news—either with excitement, pride or indifference— is vital to a long-lasting relationship. And the news doesn’t have to be about the big stuff, either
15. Celebrate Good News Together
Research shows that couples who celebrate even small things, like finding a lost object, are happier together.
We’re not saying you should break out the Champagne because you’ve found the car keys, but injecting a little more joy in your everyday interactions and appreciating life’s small victories can significantly boost your happiness and that of your partner.
16. Try New Things
Studies show that couples who try new things together regularly are happier in relationships. That’s because new experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with feel-good chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine.
So, instead of spending date night at your usual restaurant, why not try going to a concert or out dancing? Shake things up to keep things stable. (source)
17. Don’t have kids
The Open University studied over 5,000 couples over two years and found that the couples without children were the happiest.
it doesn’t mean couples who are having children are not happy but the relative ratio of happiness out stands for a couple who have no kids.
18. Be Five Times Nicer
They argue that the difference between happy and unhappy relationships comes down to the ratio of positive to negative interactions, namely five to one.
So, for every negative interaction during conflict, a happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.
“When [couples in happy marriages] are talking about something important,” Dr. Gottman says, “they may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing and there are signs of affection because they have made emotional connections.”
19. Ditch the Gritty Box Set Drama and Watch a Rom-Com
The University of Rochester found that watching five films a month about relationships and discussing them after could reduce the rate of divorce after three years from 24 to 11 per cent.
20.Write About Your Fights.
In a study from Northwestern University in Evanston, IL, couples who wrote for seven minutes three times a year about previous marital conflicts from a third-party perspective reported greater relationship satisfaction than those who didn’t.
Researchers believe it’s because the writing group was able to glean new insights about the disagreements or better understand their spouses after they’d reflected about them on their own.
21. Don’t Work Behind a Bar
Working behind a bar, being a mathematician, or being a dancer, are the careers most likely to end in divorce.
Surprisingly, optometry is ranked alongside podiatry, farming and nuclear engineering as the career paths least likely to end in divorce. Maybe it’s because as an optometrist, you can honestly say ‘I only have eyes for you.’ (source)
22. Responding to Your Spouse’s Random
According to psychologist John Gottman, when your partner interrupts your reading to point out a dumb meme on the Internet, they’re not just trying to amuse you — they’re asking for your positive attention. And if you’re constantly responding, “Not now, I’m busy,” you’re hurting your relationship.
Gottman found that still-married couples had paid attention to their partner during these little random interactions nine times out of ten, while couples that divorced had only paid attention to one another three times out of ten.
23. Fight Right
All couples argue, and many experts say that it can actually be healthy for your relationship. However, research shows that there’s a big difference between how happy couples and unhappy couples fight.
The key to better arguing is defusing the tension, for example with a bit of humor or conceding on some points.
Unhappy couples, on the other hand, are more likely to criticize, roll their eyes and show contempt.
24. Appreciate Your Partner:
Looking at your partner as the king or queen is one good idea to preserve a relationship.
According to research from the University of Buffalo, viewing your partner with starry eyes may be key in preserving your marital happiness.
The study asked 222 couples to rank their partner and themselves on a variety of characteristics several times over the course of three years. Those who over-inflated their partners’ characteristics were more likely to stay blissful in their union.
25. Give Them Space
Psychologist Dr. Orbuch has studied married couples for over 25 years and argues that having enough alone time is key to marriage success.
The thing is to allow the other person freedom to do what they want to do, which is so important.Let them do it. Encourage them and support them and vice versa.’ Sounds good! (source)
26. Maintain other Passions Outside of the Relationship
People who approach their daily lives with zest and strong emotion seem to carry these intense feelings over to their love life as well, according to the findings of the study collaborated by Arthur Aron.
Your brain’s reward centers respond similarly to love as to getting excited about your other interests and passions.
So, if you want your relationship to have passion, put that emotional energy to work in your hobbies, interests, and even political activities. Getting “fired up” in these areas of life translates into firing up the feelings you have toward your partner. The study found this rule seems have more impact for men.
27. Cuddle Together
Studies have shown that couples who cuddle and snuggle up in bed are in happier relationships. According to a study done by Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychologist of the University of Hertfordshire, “couples that sleep close together are happier than those who don’t.” The findings of the study showed that 94% of the couples that spent the night in physical contact were happy with their relationship whereas only 68% of couples that didn’t cuddle up said that they were happy.
If you aren’t doing it already, try cuddling up next to your partner more often- because science says so!
28. Keeping Your Social Media Aside:
Face book ! twitter ! Instagram !! may be these are not good reasons to maintain good married life as per researchers.
According to a 2014 study from Boston University and published in Computers in Human Behavior, determined that the use of Facebook and other social networking sites is linked to increased marital dissatisfaction and increased divorce rates.
According to researchers from Haverford College, the more insecure someone is feeling in a relationship then the more likely they are to post to social media for some kind of validation.
They also found that, among heavy social media users, 32 percent had thought about leaving their significant others, compared to 16 percent of non-social media users.
29. Laugh Together
Who doesn’t love laughing and having a great time with their partner?
A study done by professors of the Psychology Department of the University of North Carolina cited that couples who laughed together are more likely to be satisfied in their relationship. Frequent giggling is also found to be an indicator of a happy relationship!(source)
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