According to research relationships are generally less happy for highly sensitive people (HSPs).
Yes, it is true. The higher the sensitive partner is, there are more likely to become unsettled by other partner’s behavior and worry more about the possible consequences.
They feel stress more and need more downtime, which can put a strain on the relationship.
Despite these challenges, many people are very attracted to the sensitivity of HSPs. This is because of the love of empathy and compassion and our concern for their feelings that the HSP show. in order words HSP can also be called as Empaths.
They love desire for deep, meaningful relationships and our distaste for the superficial.
We also tend to be attracted to people who need help and who are attracted to open, generous, compassionate and empathetic personality. But this attraction can be deceptive.
All too often, people find it easier to take advantage of the HSP’s giving nature than to help themselves and finally they end up at personal therapists or doormats rather than equal partners.
Many HSPs also have feelings of self-doubt or low self-esteem because their sensitivity is not always accepted or appreciated. So finding a romantic relationship in which this trait is desired can drive us to be even more empathic, helpful and sensitive to others’ feelings in an effort to gain acceptance and love. But problems can arise when we give too much.
All too often, the more we give, the more other people take, and ultimately we ignore our own needs, and end up exhausted, resentful and unhappy.
At the same time, we’re unsure why we feel so unfulfilled when we’ve worked so hard and blame ourselves.
Relationships can be challenging for a highly sensitive person. But the difficulty is often that HSPs feel so good about helping others, we end up putting their needs before our own.
How to know that you are or dealing with a Highly sensitive person in the relationship
Here are the few points that will help you to identify whether you or your partner is highly sensitive in relationship
1. A highly sensitive person feels everything more deeply and take it to heart
Highly sensitive people don’t actually feel in any other way than right down to their soul – they get hurt easily, and wear their hearts on their sleeves.
They are very emotional about things they value. It does not mean that they feel sad for every thing. The thing that matters the most is every important to them so if anything wrong happens then they cant be easily stabilized.
Everything seems intense for the highly sensitive souls among us, so if you get in a relationship with an empath, remember to pay attention to and honor their feelings.
If you disregard them, you can be sure that this will make your sweetheart run in the opposite direction of your love.
2. A highly sensitive person needs lots of time to recharge.
Highly sensitive people are usually introverts, not that every one but mostly as they do keep their feelings to themseleves
so that means they derive their energy from within themselves, not from external sources. They tend to avoid big crowds of people because it seems overwhelming and nerve-racking to them.
HSP’s enjoy doing quiet activities, such as hiking in nature, drawing, writing, painting, or anything that allows them to express their creativity.
Solitude gives them a chance to align themselves once again and clear their energy of any negativity they may have picked up from others.
3. A highly sensitive person is highly intuitive to your emotions.
A sensitive person can automatically sense how you feel without you having to say a word to them.
Loving a highly sensitive person or being a sensitive person means that your feelings will always be on display, because they can pick up on energy very easily.
You can’t hide anything from an empath, so if you get in a relationship with one, make sure you feel comfortable with keeping your emotions in the spotlight at all times.
4. A highly sensitive person doesn’t treat sex as just a game.
In order for an HSP to become interested in intimacy with a partner, he or she must feel completely comfortable with the person on a deep spiritual level.
They might identify with the term sapiosexual, which means they find human intelligence to be the most attractive feature about a person.
They won’t consent to sex unless they feel a soul connection to another person. Sex is not taken lightly or seen as a game by highly sensitive people.
5. A highly sensitive person’s brain runs on overdrive, making them more prone to insomnia.
Highly sensitive people often suffer from insomnia due to their overactive minds, and might sleep at odd hours of the day to make up for it.
Their minds work on overdrive most of the day, so turning the lights out and laying their head down doesn’t do much good for a brain that doesn’t want to sleep. They might lie awake some nights just tossing and turning, contemplating life and all its mysteries.
For some it can be quite opposite as the bran is in constant work for them, they may feel exhausted and sleep more than usual.
6. A highly sensitive person can easily get overwhelmed in loud, crowded environments.
You are likely that you may meet empaths in a quiet coffee shop or book store rather than at a bar or mall that is full of sounds.
They like places where they can hear their own thoughts and process stimuli slowly, which makes busy, loud establishments an infrequent stop for highly sensitive people.
If you date an empath, you’ll have to understand their desire to spend ample time in nature or at least in a quieter setting than most places today provide.
7. A highly sensitive person can’t change their disposition.
sensitive people can be misunderstood because others think they just want attention, but high sensitivity is actually an inborn trait.
They can’t help the fact that their brains are wired differently than others.
If you date a highly sensitive person, don’t try to change them. Just love them for what they are.
They can sometimes seem more difficult to be in a relationship with, but their ability to love so deeply makes it totally worth it.
8. A highly sensitive person doesn’t like to get in fights.
Because they have the emotions so deep, that they don’t like to get into heated debates or arguments with any person or people.
They’d rather walk away from a confrontation, or at least talk things out rationally.
Be patient if you need to talk things out with an empath – they will need to collect their thoughts first before engaging in a debate with you.
9. A highly sensitive person often feels misunderstood.
These type of people especially em-paths have been mislabeled and judged their whole lives for “being too sensitive.”
If you do get into a relationship with one, don’t ever make them feel bad for their innate characteristics. Love them as they are, because they bring important gifts to the world, and they really are beautiful souls that should be cherished.
10. Highly sensitive people make the most loyal partners.
A highly sensitive person will never hurt you intentionally; they are good at soul , they value the relationship and they will give you their all in a relationship, and make you feel more adored and loved than you’ve ever felt before.
11. A highly sensitive person can offer great conversation.
They might seem quiet at first, but they have so much to say after they feel comfortable with you and conversant alot.
How to fix relationship when dealing with highly sensitive person
Instead of trying harder to help our partners, HSPs need to learn to help themselves. If you found you are empath in the relationship then these few things can help your relationship. g Here’s how:
1. Get to know yourself.
When you are in a relationship figure out what you need first. If you don’t know what your needs are, you’ll never get them met. if you figured what you need in a relationship then definitely it’s important to you, it’s important to the relationship. HSPs are so concerned with being a good partner and friend,they may not give themselves what we need.
2. Accept yourself.
To change and get best in the relationship. You need to know about yourself and accept that you are an highly sensitive person.
When you accept and appreciate yourself as you are, others will learn to do the same.
Don’t put up with anyone who tries to tell you that you’re “too sensitive” or that you need to change.
Someone who tells you that you should “just relax” or that you’re making a big deal out of nothing is not the right person for you. Sensitive people are naturally expressive,
They can’t help but show the feelings, whether it’s fear, anger or joy. It’s important that both you and your partner appreciate and accept that each other feelings and personalities.
It can take some time for non-HSPs to understand what being an HSP is really like, but someone who loves you will make the effort to understand and accept you for who you are. Being sensitive is not a flaw that needs to be hidden or corrected but it is a gift to be nurtured and valued. The first person to do that is you.
3. Set boundaries.
HSPs need to develop strong and clear fences to protect their sensitivity. It’s not selfish to say no or to tell people what you need, which is against their view.It’s simply taking care of yourself.
A safe person will not be threatened by your need for intimacy, closeness, your fears or worries, your awareness of their feelings or your need to understand them. They will strive to be the person who will reassure you and respect your boundaries.
4. Take responsibility.
The key to a successful relationship, is taking responsibility for our own life. You should be giving as much love and kindness to yourself as you do to your partner.
It’s up to you to met your needs and those needs might be quite different from your partner’s. Many people think about themselves too much, but HSPs usually think about others too much.
5. Don’t be a rescuer.
People need to fall down, brush themselves off and get up again or else they will never learn how to walk on their own.
It might feel wrong to stand back and watch someone struggle in life, but you are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings.
It’s your job to look after yourself so that you can be truly yourself and fulfill your potential. But you can still offer them the compassion, but sometimes you just need to step back and let the one figure it out for themselves.
6. Beware of vampires.
Some people don’t want to learn or help themselves nor anyone around them. They want you to do it for them and then they want more and more and will never get satisfied.
A drowning man can pull you down to save himself. You can still help him, but make sure you stay on solid ground and throw him a line so he can get himself out.
If you’re dating, consider not how useful you can be to someone, but how much they allow you to be yourself, to be relaxed and happy, secure and safe as you both grow.
Most empaths wrongly get attracted to the wrong personality trait called narcists so by looking after yourself you can reverse the chances of dating the wrong person.
7. Don’t nag.
Don’t keep trying to make your partner understand you, especially if you are an empath and be there for you, or love you when they don’t.
Whatever they may say in words, believe their behavior. Tell them what you need, be there for them, give them a chance to change, and if you’re not feeling loved, appreciated, respected, and valued, move on. You will find someone who meets those needs and value your needs and respects you for what you are.
8. Stand up for yourself.
Sensitive people can feel torn between speaking out for what they believe in and staying quiet for fear of a harsh reaction from others.
But disagreement doesn’t have to be aggressive. Say what you think calmly and clearly and expect your partner to do the same. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict and apologize if you’re in the wrong. If things get heated, take a break and walk away until everyone has calmed down.
9. Heal yourself
Sometimes, when you are devastated then we need to take some time to heal ourselves especially from past experiences or hurt feelings before deciding to end a relationship.
Our own fears and insecurities often contribute to our relationship problems. And it’s within a relationship where we can learn how to grow, as long as our partner supports us and wants to heal and grow as well.
10. Love yourself.
When you love yourself, you give yourself the sufficient time, attention, patience, caring, respect and love that you would give your own child. It doesn’t mean that you will love anyone else less and not love any one. Infact it is nothing wrong.
This literally means that you don’t have to depend on someone else to give you the love you need and deserve.
You can give it to yourself. This can feel very wrong to HSPs, who feel others’ emotions so intensely and want to help so urgently.
But when you love yourself, you’re ensuring your own needs are getting met, and then you can give to others without sacrificing anything. You can give freely and lovingly because you are constantly replenishing your own store of love from the inside out.
The key for all good relationships especially for highly sensitive people is not to give more to others, but to give more to yourself.
When both partners value themselves enough and equally to make sure their own needs are met, when they communicate those needs to each other and have enough respect to accept each other as they are, a healthy, loving relationship can flourish for HSPs and non-HSPs alike. (source)
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