Anger Management

Best Ways to Control Anger-Tame Your Temper

The natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

What is anger definition?

Anger is “An emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage,” according to Charles Spielberg-er, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger.

Like any other emotions that we experience , it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; like increased heart rate and pulse due to the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Anger management isn’t about never getting angry. Instead, it involves the learning process about how to recognize, cope with, and express your anger in healthy and productive ways.
Anger management is a skill that everyone can learn. And, there’s always room for improvement.

Anger management isn’t about never getting angry

How do we express anger?

The  natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

People use their anger either in a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressed, and calm down  .

  • Expressing your angry feelings:

This should be in a assertive way — but not aggressive one —manner is the healthiest way to express anger. This may not is easy at the start to control ones feelings but To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean that being pushy or demanding your needs; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

  • Anger can be suppressed:

This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. the main  aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. But there are dangers in this type of response – if you don’t use your suppressed feel in a positive way is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

  • You can calm down inside.:

This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

As Dr. Spielberger notes, “when none of these three techniques work, that’s when someone—or something—is going to get hurt.” (source)

Mental Exercises that can decrease anger

Mental Exercises that can decrease anger:

People who are often angry tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you’re angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic that can make you lose your rationality of thinking and reasoning. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones.

  • Solution 1#:

Instead of telling yourself, “oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, everything’s ruined and everything is not always what I think,” but tell yourself, “it’s frustrating, and it’s understandable that I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow and it may take time but sure it will not be for ever.”
Be careful of these words like “never” or “always” when talking about yourself or someone else. “This machine never works,” or “you’re always forgetting things ” are not just inaccurate and some times they can lead you in trouble. These  make you feel that your anger is justified and that there’s no way to solve the problem.

Angry people tend to some times demand things: the fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. But everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don’t get them, but angry people demand them in a aggressive manner, and when their demands aren’t met, their disappointment becomes anger.

  • Solution 2#

As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, “I would like” something is healthier than saying, “I demand” or “I must have” something.

  • Solution 3#

The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem. Problems do come but getting ourselves down to the emotional burdens that we carry in ourselves is not correct way to solve problem, infact every one expect the end final result is to solve the problem and live happy.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away.

  • Solution 4#

Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate and irrational that they can even make the situation worst.

The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don’t let your anger—or a partner’s—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

  • Solution 5#

“Silly simple hum or” can help to defuse rage in a number of ways you might not expected. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective.

When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you’re at work and you think of a coworker as a “dirtbag”  for example, picture a large bag full of dirt  sitting at your colleague’s desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.

  • Solution 6#

It is common that the angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should not have to suffer this way.
When you get the feel or that urge, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you.

The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you’ll also realize how unimportant the things you’re angry about really are.

  • Solution 7#

Sometimes it’s our immediate surroundings that we live in that give us and cause irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the “trap” you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. (source)

Give yourself a break

Physical Exercises that can decrease anger:

These are few key therapies that can help to over come the anger

Talk to a friend

Some times you might feel if your anger is rational and logical ? at that time only person who can estimate is your close ones who can tell you what is right and wrong .Don’t stew in the events that made you angry. Help yourself process what happened by talking with a trusted, supportive friend who can possibly provide a new perspective.

Rehearse your response

To Prevent an outburst just do by rehearsing what you’re going to say or how you’re going to approach about the problem in your future. This rehearsal period will give you time to role-play several possible solutions, and helps to clear clarity about the situation.

Go Walk around to relax

Exercise is one of the best ways to cope your anger. it can help calm your nerves and reduce anger. Go for a walk, ride your bike, or hit a few golf balls. Anything that gets your limbs pumping is good for your mind and body.

Sit alone and think for yourself

Give yourself a break. Sit away from others and in this quiet time, you can process events and return your emotions to neutral. You may even find this time away from others is so helpful you want to schedule it into your daily routine.

Repeat a mantra

Find a word or phrase that helps you calm down and refocus. In this way you are reminding yourself you will be fine. Repeat that word again and again to yourself when you’re upset. “Relax,” “Take it easy, and “You’ll be OK” are all good examples.

Relax your muscles

Progressive muscle relaxation calls on you to tense and slowly relax various muscle groups in your body, one at a time. As you tense and release, take slow, deliberate breaths.

Stop talking

When you’re steamed, and you are about to keep hold of your words and you may be tempted to let the angry grow by fighting, but you’re more likely to do harm than good. Pretend your lips are glued shut, just like you did as a kid. This moment without speaking will give you time to collect your thoughts.

Count down up to 10

This is most common said and practiced exercise that help to reduce anger. Count down (or up) to 10. If you’re really mad, start at 100. In the time it takes you to count, your heart rate will slow, and your anger will likely subside and you may feel better

Picture a stop sign

This is a universal symbol to stop when you are feeling odd about the situation. you can help yourself calm down when you’re angry. It’s a quick way to help you visualize the need to halt yourself, your actions, and walk away from the moment.

Write in your journal

Keeping your feelings in words is the best way to decrease anger.What you can’t say, perhaps you can write. Jot down what you’re feeling and how you want to respond. Processing it through the written word can help you calm down and reassess the events leading up to your feelings.

Stretch

Neck rolls and shoulder rolls are good examples of nonstrenuous yoga-like movements that can help you control your body and harness your emotions.

Take a breather

Take deep breaths and your breathing becomes shallower and speeds up as you grow angry. Reverse that trend by taking slow, deep breaths from your nose and exhaling out of your mouth for several moments.

Practice gratitude

Take a moment to focus on about what’s right when everything feels wrong. Realizing how many good things you have in your life can help you neutralize anger and turn around the situation in a better way.

Play some tunes

Music therapy can be best way to reduce your bad emotions and improve your mood.
Let music carry you away from your feelings. Put in earbuds or slip out to your car. Crank up your favorite music (avoid heavy metal), and hum, bop, or sashay your anger away.

Practice empathy

This can be a hard thing to do but try to walk in the other person’s shoes and see the situation from their perspective. When you tell the story or relive the events as they saw it, you may gain a new understanding and become less angry.

Imagine forgiving them

Finding the courage to forgive someone who has wronged you takes a lot of emotional skill. If you can’t go that far, you can at least pretend that you’re forgiving them, and you’ll feel your anger slip away.

Anger management problems aren’t always that serious, however. Instead, you might just find that you waste a lot of time thinking about events that upset you or venting about people you dislike.

Finding the courage to forgive someone

Conclusion:

Like any other emotions that we experience. Anger, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; like increased heart rate and pulse due to the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger management isn’t about never getting angry. Instead, it involves the learning process about how to recognize, cope with, and express your anger in healthy and productive ways.
Anger management is a skill that everyone can learn. And, there’s always room for improvement.

For more related articles about mental health:

17 Facts About A Narcissist Manipulator

How To Improve Mental Health and Mood

B-Complex Can Treat Panic Attacks and Anxiety

New Technology To Detect Depression Through Voice

Past Trauma Affects In Your Relationships

Is Your Empathy a Boon or Curse?

 

Self life hacks

Doctor by profession and blogger by passion

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