Relationship Advice

18 Habits To Avoid When Choosing Your Spouse

Make wrong choice, and well… I don’t want to sound so dramatic but you could be in for a lifetime of the heartache. So when it comes to choosing the life partner, there are some types of the people you simply must avoid.

If you choose right partner, you may spend your rest of the life with someone who helps you to learn and grow, giving you opportunity of living with the happiness and the fulfillment.

Make wrong choice, and well… I don’t want to sound so dramatic but you could be in for a lifetime of the heartache.

So when it comes to choosing the life partner, there are some types of the people you simply must avoid.

Here are 18 habits to avoid when choosing your spouse.

1 Stay away from someone who is narrow-minded

If you are the someone who is open-minded, then it’s very important you find the partner who is also open-minded.

The reason is very simple.

Open-minded people in the romantic partnership can support each other in expanding their horizons together every much further.

2 Avoid who treat animals without respect and compassion

There’s an unfortunate tendency among-st people to treat the animals with disrespect. It comes from belief that humans are superior to the other living species.

How can this be justified? Is it because we’re smarter?

Instead, respect and compassion for the living species is attribute to look for in the people.

Someone who is kind to the animals is usually kind to people.

when choosing your spouse

3 Steer clear of people who don’t value the relationships

If you find yourself madly in love with the partner who has cheated on the previous partners, reconsider your options here.

People who don’t follow rules of a relationship are unlikely to change although it does happen.

Do you really want to be guinea pig in this scenario? Find someone who will be true to you always.

4 Don’t marry someone who breaks promises

Whether they forget to get the oil changed in  car or they don’t show up for dinner reservation, someone who can’t keep it together long enough to keep the promise to you is not worth your time or the life’s investment.Find the someone who does what they say they will do.

5 Stay away from dishonest people

If you catch your potential spouse lying to you, reconsider relationship.

Of course, the severity of lie can come into play, but it’s hard to ignore fact that one lie leads to another.

If they are lying about why they stayed late at the work, what else are they lying about?

stay away from dishonest people

6 Watch out for people want to fight with you for the sake of it

A partner who doesn’t leave well enough alone is not someone you want to spend rest of your life with you want to be with someone who can leave past in past.

Life is hard enough without having to drag up past all the time. Someone who can’t forgive and forget is not someone you want to be married to at all.

7 who doesn’t respect their family

If your partner is mean to their family, there’s the good chance they will treat you same way. Although the humans tend to be meanest to the ones they love, there’s something to be said about someone who does it with the malice.

Watch out for the people who don’t give any of their time to the family members or even the close friends. That could be you someday.

8 Avoid abusive personalities

If someone doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, then there is no point in being in relationship. Abuse comes in many forms.

While you might be thinking about the physical abuse, the mental abuse can wear someone down almost as fast as the physical abuse, if not more.

Reconsider your relationship if you are always on the defense and waiting for next fight or the passive aggressive comment from your partner to fly your way.

avoid abusive personalities

9 who doesn’t listen to you

If your partner is always speaking for you or correcting you when you speak, consider that they don’t respect your opinion Atal and don’t want you having voice of your own. This is form of abuse and control.

If your partner cuts you off mid-sentence, it means they don’t respect you enough to listen.

10 He isn’t emotionally mature

A lot of people don’t have  wherewithal to take care of themselves these days.

We’ve been babied and coddled the whole lives, and it seems that many people don’t know how to pay the bills, hold the job, or clean their homes.

If you find yourself with the someone who hasn’t grown up, move on. You don’t need that in your life at all.

emotionally not mature

11 Not being on the same page with each other

Often couples lack the alignment on  things that matter most, and feel like their own personal goals or the feelings are most important ones to focus on. It is very easy to get lost in your own perspective and fail to see partner’s viewpoint on important things, causing them to feel like they aren’t valued.

12 Not meeting each other’s needs

Every person has the unique needs they hope their partner will fulfill. But sometimes the couples fail to speak up about those needs or presume their partner’s needs are same as their own, often leaving their significant other feeling very alienated.

13 Neglecting each other

Blowing each other off, forgetting to follow through on the promises, failing to pay the attention. Neither of you necessarily meant to make other things more important than the spouse, but you did and continuation of the behavior can eventually be seen as blatant disrespect for the partner.

neglecting each other

 

14 Criticizing each other

Nitpicking and obsessing over your partner’s shortcomings , eventually results in the faults becoming the only thing you see in the partner. After awhile, complaining and criticizing become the comfortable habit which compromises your willingness to the communicate and interact in the compassionate, supportive way. It can also eat away at intimacy and trust you have built in the relationship, and result in one or both of you feeling too self-conscious to be completely honest and open with one other.

15. Letting stress control your lives

Life is hectic and many couples accidentally let the stress (both big and the small) come between them. But once the stress takes over and shared togetherness fractures, it can feel incredibly difficult (if not impossible) to get it back.

16. Fighting to win

When you’re more focused on being right than on truly connecting, the attempts to discuss the problem areas within  relationship can often end up making the things much, much worse. It inhibits sense of openness needed for the healthy communication and progress that could be made in mending the other issues.

fighting to win

17 Lying about financial issues

While even the your about to partner can find it difficult to talk about the money, it’s important to make the attempt to keep a open dialogue—because the money is  number one cause of relationship stress. If your partner is irresponsible or deceitful about the money, it can feel overwhelming and hurtful, because it’s a huge breach of the trust in same way that an infidelity would be.

18. Introducing ultimatums into the relationship

If your partner starts saying the things like, “It’s me or your best friend/parents/sister, etc.,” you’ve entered into the stage of the relationship you may not be able to come back from. The subject does not always have to be the another person, in many situations it can even be a career or the habitual pattern.

Additional Points to Consider:

  • The fact is that no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love  person we marry for more than the appearance. When we get to know the someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for the inner beauty and the overall essence.
  • Once we find the someone who we feel right for us we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work in the relationship well that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of the others, is rude to you, etc. We don’t stop to ask, at the moment“What does all of this mean about their character?”
  • Never separate the someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking the clear questions can clarify this like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle of your own?” “What are your expectations of the marriage?” “How would you help around house?” Compare your definition with theirs.
  • Be flexible. Be the open-minded!
  • Giving in happy marriage should not be confused with the martyrdom. It should be about taking the pleasure and seeing other person as happy because of your connection with them.
  • morality is one of the qualities that truly define the someone in addition to the beauty, money, and health. The morally upright and the spiritual person will stand by your side during the adversity and the hardship.

For more related articles click below:

Rushing Into A Relationship After A Breakup

Do’s And Don’t after Having A Breakup

Things That Highly Sensitive People Should Know When They Are In Relationship

17 Things Couples Argue About The Most

12 Ways How Non Attachment Strengthens Relationships

Self life hacks

Doctor by profession and blogger by passion

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